member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize