Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ugly people sure do ruin things
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
