Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize