i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
