the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
