It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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