Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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