I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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