Swine flu. Run for my life!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
