I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
