You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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