that's an acceptable place to lick
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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