If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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