Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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