imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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