this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
