I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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