Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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