Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
