glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
