At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
it glows. i had to have it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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