I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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