i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
