I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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