I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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