Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My bed smells like the plague
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
