in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
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