For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
