i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
