i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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