So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
