I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I love you.
Bad choice
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