Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
