Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
