weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
