So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
