I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
