If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
