It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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