i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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