whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
