i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
