spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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