lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
