he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
