She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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