Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
