Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
