So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
