I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
