I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize