i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
