"it" just moved
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
