Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
