everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's blow job season.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just pee around me
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
