well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
